the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
