Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The power of my boobs compel you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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