so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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