She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
