So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Of course I have a pirate flag
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
