Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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