apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we made out on top of his cat.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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