come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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