He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
