The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
