Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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