What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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