Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to make out with him forever
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize