Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
