there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My dick has a subreddit
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
