I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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