giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
