no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
