this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
