exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
