i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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