Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
