Duck Duck Cougar?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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