So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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