We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
