I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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