i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
