Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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