One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
