I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize