My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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