i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
