I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
