There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
