I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
