Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
