AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
