just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
