I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
