Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
