"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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