Don't make out with my wife yet
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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