I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
