If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
