I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
