YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
