1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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