dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
