Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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