had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
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Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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