Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my liver is dry heaving
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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