My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
