He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
