Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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