Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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