also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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