My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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