I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
