Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
