you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
